Lately, I’ve caught myself reciting the Metta Prayer, or loving-kindness, as it’s also known. Metta is a heart-centered prayer with roots in Buddhism.
(I should first disclaim that I’m not Buddhist, so forgive me if I say anything not in alignment with the religion’s tradition. I honor religious beliefs that direct love to all beings.)
I notice that Metta has a profound neutralizing effect on polarities, ushers more Love into ourselves, and also directs Love to others. This is much needed during tough times. There’s no proper liturgy to follow when saying a Metta Prayer. What is important is the intention and reciting it at least three times, each with a different subject. Here’s how it goes.
We start with ourselves:
May I be well. May I be happy. May I live with ease.
Then we move on.
May You be well. May You be happy. May You live with ease.
Lastly, we insert “all beings” as the subject.
May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. May all beings live with ease.
That’s it. Simple. You can change up the script. Examples could read “May all beings be healthy. May all beings live in peace. May all beings be safe.” It’s whatever you choose to say.
But here’s the magic of the Metta Prayer. In the second part, we can personalize “You” to a specific name to send loving-kindness to an individual.
May Jane be well. May Jane be happy. May Jane live with ease.
This sounds like a nice thing to do, right?
Now, change out the name to a person who challenges you, or a person who you perceive as an adversary or even an enemy.
Whoa. How does that feel? This practice is potent for three reasons:
1. Metta changes us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It changes our physical bodies. Metta softens hardened hearts and dislodges hate. Metta guides us towards compassion, forgiveness, and understanding. See how this prayer feels in your body as you work to well-wish a person with whom you have conflict. You may feel a jolt at first. Keep reciting it. Metta will test the bounds of your ego, that’s for sure. See if your heart can begin to soften and you can see the “other” as an imperfect human, just like you.
2. Our intention through Metta travels the quantum field. Dr. Joe Dispenza defines the quantum field as “an invisible field of energy and information—or you could say a field of intelligence or consciousness—that exists beyond space and time. Nothing physical or material exists there.” Nothing we say is in vain; therefore, we must direct what we say to the highest good. The quantum field is the unseen and physicists are constantly making new discoveries here. Imagine an intention of love traveling the quantum field to find a perceived adversary. Metta is a spell. Yep, I mean like a sorcerer’s spell, all for good. We wake up to the potency of our words. We use words to direct our intentions. We use them for the highest good.
3. It dismantles the Drama Triangle. Do you know the Drama Triangle? It represents patterns of dysfunctional social interactions and illustrates a power game involving three archetypal roles: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. We’ve all played these parts—I certainly have—but when we recite Metta, we pull ourselves back to a place of our own sovereignty and strength. We no longer need to participate in dysfunction.
Have you noticed people acting out the drama triangle?
One last disclaimer: Metta is not a pass for others’ bad behavior. We must maintain strong boundaries with people who cause harm. But the Loving-Kindness prayer enables us to lead from a place of our own divine authority.
“The most compassionate people,” Brene Brown reminds us, “must also have the strongest boundaries.”
Announcing My Book with April Megginson
I collaborated with my dear friend April Megginson, whom I met on the Internet (that story is the introduction.) We published a book together called Self-Aware. It’s a collection of short, thought-provoking essays. You read about it and purchase it here.
I’ve waited to announce this book because I’ve been working through my own grief. My father got sick right after we pressed the “publish” button. I received my first copy while Dad was in hospice and read the dedication aloud to him. He wasn’t lucid, but I know he still heard me.
I have said of Self-Aware, “I wrote it for my younger self, the twenty-year-old me who needed guidance.” Creative sparks flew in collaboration and the book’s wisdom is timeless. Lulu.com
I’m drinking lots of Red Root Tea lately
My herb of the month is red root. I’m drinking it to support my lymphatic system.
My intuition leads me to believe that in heavy times, our emotions (energy-in-motion) can cause sluggishness in our lymphatic system. This is just a hunch and not medical advice but red root does help move lymph in the body. This is one of its known herbal actions.
From The Complete Herbal Guide :
“Red root is perhaps one of the best lymph decongestive herbs available. It works best for congested lymph and to offset the age-related accumulation of fibrous tissue which can compromise optimal functionality. For sleepiness and heaviness after meals, mild swelling of the extremities, and reduced digestive fire, red root scrubs the intestinal lymphatic-collecting ducts that deliver fats and proteins to the blood and supports a healthy and efficient drainage system.”
You can find Red Root tinctures easily on the internet. I prefer to buy the bulk herb and make a tea or even a more potent decoction—boiling the root and simmering it for thirty minutes.
And now a related journal prompt
If we follow nature’s seasonal energy, this is a time of year when it all begins to move back to the roots. Spring energy is in seeds and shoots and potential. Summer is surrendering to the vibrancy and celebration of life. Fall is a time to begin to pull energy back into ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us.
Moving into winter, the energy of nature—the life force of you—draws down into the roots of the earth. Ask yourself, what are my roots? What supports me? Where do I ground myself? How do I protect my energy?
Much Love,
Katie
Katie, apologies for taking a few days to comment on this beautiful post. I saw that it was about metta - an important practice for me, as a Buddhist - and set it aside because I wanted to wait until I had enough time and space to read and appreciate what you've shared here. So wonderful! And I so appreciate you putting it out into the world. Your explanation/description is spot on. And ... by the way ... I named my middle child Metta!!
Katie, I was trying to remember all the exact words of the loving-kindness prayer this morning. I said it, but not entirely correctly. Thank you for reminding me of the exact words. And thank you for all this goodness. Congratulations on your book!!! That's fabulous news!